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Let’s pack happiness into our children so the baggage they take into adulthood is goodness, confidence, and kindness instead of packing bags of hurt, struggle, and loneliness that will weigh them down for life. ~L.R.Knost
I hope I can live by this goal and my beautiful boys, all four of them grow up to have happy lives, to impact the world in good and noble ways and leave a good mark. To be able to communicate with respect and show their feelings. To be around people that respect them and their voice. I feel too many times children are just shut out of the world, shut out by their parents and by their teachers, even told to shut up. Its such a horrible put down. to tell a person that your voice doesn't matter.
Parenting in a hard path to walk on, but children will grow up to become adults that are a reflection of words, the touch, the example, the behavior we have towards them, in front of them has a lasting effect. You see the most valuable things in life take time and effort to nurture. Children of the next generation need to be looked after, not see their parents back to a computer screen or head ingraved into a phone or ipad.They need their parents faces in their hands, loving and protective. I am not saying catering to their every needs or whim. But giving quality time each day to each child as a parent makes the decision to bring each child into this earth. May be some are not planned, but they are part of us and need to be looked after, not overlooked or neglected because we are busy!.
When I studied child development and abuses the worst form of punishment/abuse wasn't physical, or emotional, or spiritual but it was neglect. Down right neglect of a child's needs, not basic needs for food, shelter and clothing, but neglect of their need for love, their need for warmth, their need for hugs and touch, their needs for positive affirmation of who their are, so many parents are busy, busy , busy that they don't give a simple hug and one second kiss to their child face at least once a day. That is sooo sad. I mean a generation of children with computer and mobile phone parents, cause they haven't knocked off work they have knocked out of reality to meet their needs to be affirmed, make their place in the world, yet forgotten that small child needs them now. That small child will grow up into a teenager that will say , see ya later! Because parents need to give the most quality time when a child is most in need of them.
If you have three children, give them equal love and time. If you have five children, give them love and equal quality time, even if it be five minters. If you have ten, do it. Because one day they will grow up in the blind of an eye and they wont call home because you didn't call them to show love and care. This subject is so close to my heart. My mother had nine children, yes nine children and she never failed once to kiss us good night before going to bed each night when we were little. So parents if you have a lessor number, why is it so hard to show a little mercy to our children? They are the next generation, we want to leave better people for their planet, but people that have hold more pain in their heart, more hopelessness more sadness or loneliness because their basic needs for love, care, positive touch were not meant at such a small and tender age!
They DO grow up and they DO move out quicker than one knows. Dont ever hesitate telling another human how much you love them. Yes they are hard at times, they test us at times, they leave us so tired at times, they cry, but they are valuable and need assistance and love and care. Yes I am going to emphasis this till the day I die. Treat our children with lots of love, lots of care, lots of LISTENING, lots of understanding and we may have a better world by making better little people.
A read a blog that describe how a father couldn't understand why his daughter was fighting with him so much, He ask her to write a letter to communicate better. She wrote back " Okay, you asked, so I’ll tell you. You were always happy because you were always in control. Want to know why I don’t talk to you now? Because you never listened when I was little. When I was scared in my room at night and called you, you either ignored me or threatened to spank me if I didn’t go to sleep. I’d lay there, crying so hard I’d almost throw up, terrified of the sounds and shadows in my room, but even more terrified of you. So, sorry, but I don’t buy that you’re ‘there for me’ when it’s only ever been at your own convenience. When you were mad at something I’d done and I tried to explain myself, you’d call it backtalk and smack me in the mouth. So forgive me if I don’t really believe you when you say you want to ‘communicate’ with me now. When I’d try to show you a dance I’d made up or tell you about how someone had pushed me on the playground, you couldn’t even be bothered to look away from your stupid computer while I was talking, so if I’m wrapped up in my electronics, I learned that little trick from you, Father Dear. Oh, and reconnect? Really? That implies that we were once connected. when I was a little girl and invited you into my world and asked you to play with me, you were always too busy. So if you don’t understand me, sorry, but that invitation expired years ago. Want to know why I think you hate me? Because your actions told me so. Your ‘love’ is just words"
My question to you and myself, how 'there' are we to each of our children?
May we be better parents to our children and to others children. I love you my 14 year old Nabil, my 9 year old Ayyub Yahya, my six year old Ebraahim and my eigth month old Shuaib Yunus. May my words be always in action ameen.
