Balanced criticize and praise

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4C_xS8nyNk

Change-Allahswt in the heart

Change, people change, we all change- be it from life experiences, age, travels, meeting new people, greater cultural awareness, and a very important one-self awareness. Awareness of our strengths and weakness, our beliefs and perceptions of the world. I have moved back home. Home is living in Perth, Australia. Home is seeing the beautiful, stunning blue, blue shy, cool breezes, gum trees, Australian bush, sitting outside in the sun with a cuppa tea. Friends, sitting and laughing while having an aussie breakfast with friends that make one laugh and feel uplifted. Grazing and watching the river, green grass and white faces around us. Home is having old friends give hugs like they never want to let go. You really can tell who missed you and who didn't when they first lay eyes on you, and the ones that did, come running with a big smile on their face and give a hard, enduring hug like they holding on to life itself. The kind of hug that keeps with you for the rest of the day.

People come and people go, and what I have learnt about people is generally if they don't need you in their life, your be dropped out or unnoticed. But, and this is a big but, the people that have a bond, which was created before leaving and coming back, its like yesterday you were with them. Its like they embrace your presence and feel happy to have you back. They want to help and be part of your life. Sitting having hot chocolate one evening with a dear old friend and chatting for hours about life, relationship, kids and us, these conversation are so fulfilling. No mention of anyone else except us, our relationships with ourselves, with our family and with our Lord. Deep, fulfilling communication where respect, trust and care are the hallmarks, the given.

Open to the new opportunities, the new possibilities that come and being careful. Careful of who to trust and who not too, who to pour my heart out of all its worries and love and belief. Yet always knowing that the best communication, the most fulfilling and most content conversation is with my Lord. Because at the end of the day, most people come and go, while a few hold on, a few keep being thrown into each others arms,in a unforgiving world. Some wont even let you slip up, or make a mistake, or see goodness in you. Others see the world with beautiful hearts that look for the beauty, see the fragile, sensitive, goodness.  See the journey as a shared steps, together complementing each other, so aware of the flaws, yet so focused on the shared experience, finding the positive and good. Learning from each other, learning to love ourselves, learning to love Allahswt, learning that the journey is the living, not the destination.

When I moved to Malaysia for fourteen months, I was tested in many ways and pushed out of my comfort zone. I had many new experiences, some very heart breaking and  pushed me in a different direction of thinking and feeling. Yet after moving back, I miss things about Malaysia and the people. I miss that they were friendly and were ready to embrace you with a smile. I miss their love of family and visiting, their continue effort to have connection in their lives. I miss walks along the sea and  endless travels to new and exciting places. I miss feeling it was normal to be around Muslims. I miss the different head scarfs and modesty. I miss the  most the aznan, the call to pray at fajr, and the Quran reading echoing in the night.

Yet Perth was always the final destination of the journey.Being with friends that I take as my own sisters, giving the heart yet being careful, is part of the learning. Because at the  the end of the day, it was always about  our relationship between us and Allahswt. so that at all circumstances, we always expect a positive expectation of the journey he sharps for us. One lesson I have learnt is that everything, every single thing, good and bad happens for a reason. Another lesson I have learnt is that words hurt, and many a time, cant be ever taken back. Third lesson we were born to fulfill a very important, crucial goal- to please our wise Lord and do our best to be good, in heart and action, so we can enter those gardens of paradise. So many things will distracted us from that goal-weather it is the dunya, material things, education, jobs, good quality items, shopping, food, socializing, family, all these things are  attachments. These attachments have the ability to take us far from our purpose, our fulfillment. So we have them by our sides but not in our heart. Allahswt is in our heart, for if we have Allahswt in our heart we have the most important ingredient of life. An ingredient that the riches or most famous non believer and many a muslim is still looking for-contentment.

Pure contentment in the heart from the remembrance of Allahswt, great is he, the all peaceful and all hearing.

Go with the heart- it tells you the truth. Islam my courage, Islam my guidance,Islam my companion,  Islam my strength, Islam my healing agent in this journey, Islam my life. Help each other towards that inner contentment.  Move away from the toxic, the jealousy, the judgments, the gossip, the slander, and be content with Allahswt company, and just a few genuine ones that keep telling your heart that they love you for his sake.

 Keep remembering his name, keep turning to him alone, keep pouring out your heart to his mercy and assistance; keep knowing him. Think good of all, those that hurt you, ignore you, criticize  you, find their goodness and see their good. We are all fragile, weak humans with many a flaws that Allahswt hides from the naked eye. We ALL sin, in different ways. See people goodness, see their ability, believe that anyone has the capacity to be a force to change the world by first looking within themselves. The most beautiful people are the ones that struggle through life trying their best to be their best.

So I am home. Iam still far form the most beloved people in my life, my Mother and eight siblings and my nieces and nephews, yet justice will be served, in I hope a place we are all going to jannah, paradise, where no ear will hear any hurtful words, no eye has to see judgmental looks and no heart has to feel any kind of pain-just pure bliss, happiness. Keep going on this journey, with Allahswt in our heart, its going to be alright inshallah.

Wearing a hejab

Lets face it trying to adhering to an Islamic dress code can be a challenging living in Australia or any western country, as a Muslim woman in a head scarf stands out, especially when your society bomb bards us woman with messages from billboard to magazines on what a woman "should" look like!

The head scarf defiantly takes the blunt of all these misconceptions because it is an outer signal that a person is of the Islamic faith. As Shuaib Webb, a well know American shiek said recently, "The natural outcome, therefore, for those who fear the religion, is to fear its most apparent manifestation-the hejab". I exercise my choice to where a head cover, yes a piece of cloth that doesn't have an adverse effect on my though pattern, that doesn't oppresses me or demean me, because I am a practicing Muslim woman. I believe covering my body and head is a religious obligation, just like absenting from wine, drugs or re framing from the act of stealing or murder! I have made a choice to be a practicing Muslim and this, from my interpenetration of Islam, includes wearing the head scarf. Now I am not saying my Muslims sisters that don't where a scarf are any less practicing, as they have also made a choice not wear it, and that is between them and God,and not for me to judge. Sometimes its a sticking point between Muslim woman themselves, as their can be a visual disparity between outer appearance and inner character. For me personally, I have always felt empowered and beautiful by wearing the head scarf.

The beauty I love about Islam is two phases that come to mind-there is no compulsion in Islam, meaning nothing can be forced and the second is that all actions are based on intention, so no one can judge another level of commitment or love of God. In the Quran, Muslim men are told to avert their gaze, out of respect for woman, so that's a hijab for them! Jesus is recorded in Islamic sources saying:

"Virtuous action does not consist in doing good to someone who has done good to you-that is merely returning a favor.Virtuous action consists in doing good (even) to those who have wronged you." So I believe that showing respect and goodness to others, how ever they treat us is important, as actions speak louder than words, and intentions speak louder to the heart. 

I feel it boils down to live and let live, a principal our society has yet to master. It upset me when people that judge or mock the hijab, and feel that I am asking to be discriminated against. I feel the people that judge or mock are really the oppressors as their own narrow mindedness and intolerant dictates their perception of a different behavior or belief is an oppression. Whats wrong with practicing ones beliefs as I choose? In a world that needs more spiritually in touch human beings.The world is beautiful with various types of communities, cultures and religions, and if their is respect, we live in harmony.

Increasing blessings

Acknowledging your blessing will only increase your blessings. There is two things In Islam that increase ones blessing-seeking forgiveness from Allahswt (as we all sin in different ways)and being grateful. There is even a verse in the Quran that says increase your gratefulness to me (Allahswt) and I will increase your blessings. I carry a gratitude dairy which I try and write in as much as I can (a few times a week) I feel its so good to show Allahswt that I am acknowledging all the good things that happen to me in a day, even if its been a hard day esp so since the last few months have been so hard for me and so to say yes these five things right now  Iam so happy Allahswt you put them in my life or they happened to me, makes we show Allahswt that I am ever grateful. I suppose its a habit of mind set to change our thinking as all blessing as a trust and need to be nurtured , loved and appreciated to get the full benefit form them. If Allahswt were to take anything away, or we lose a blessing or a testing experience happens, this is only for our own good and their is much khair in it as Allahswt is the best of planners and knows what is best for us in all times of our life. Always keeping a positive expectation of Allahswt mercy and hope, and acknowledge how very much in need we are of him.

I acknowledge the great blessing of being able to breath, the eyes that see, the ears that hear, the mouth that taste and the body that is able to do things. The family and friends I have in my life (even thou many are far by distance, yet close by heart). May we keep acknowledging our blessings and flavors upon us, we don't want to be in a position of regret that we only realize how important or great something was after it has left our lives. Each day we keep remember that life is a gift to be used wisely and our words and actions have an impact on ourselves and others, so may they be of goodness and may we be of the grateful!

Reflections of 2013-year of changes, travels and new experiences.

 This year has been one of the most challenging years in my life. I have been tested in different areas. I  have had new experiences and travels,ones  that  I would have never thought possible. I have pushed myself emotionally and physically and I have been crushed at times with the sheer weight of dealing with all the different changes . I have fallen on an a occasion or two, and than got up with out reared hands to a very Merciful Lord, who test to make us turn to him even more, to bow down to him even longer, to listen and obey to him even better.

 I am stronger in somethings and weaker in others. I am more aware of peoples sufferings and human nature. I am less judgmental. I am fragile. I am constant in need of Allahswt every....... single...... day. With his permission I am able to bow down to him five times a day and that is the greatest gift I could have ever achieve- his mercy and love to let me have Iman, faith in my heart and to keep turning to him.

I am shy of fourteen days from my baby Shuaib turning one year old and shy of 29 days of living in Malaysia for one year (minus all the travels back home :)) . I left on this journey determined and exhausted. Leaving some really precious gems of friends, all that was familiar in my home built up over fifteen years in Perth to Malacca, Malaysia, a small city town about two hours drive from kular lumper, the capital. I live five mins from the sea, my savoir when things became too much or when I needed freedom from the stares and sea of Asian faces. How I yearn to see a white face sometimes lol. That's what being around what's familiar does to you- everything different isn't seen as normal.How perception and mind set changes once we step out of our comfort zone.

 We are All different in so many ways yet the same. Regardless what color, nationality, religion you are , how many children you have or not or what country you live in, we are all human and feel hurt, sadness, happiness, desperation, broken, inspired,uplifted at different times in our lives.

 We walk different journeys yet we are on the same destination.

 We turn against people and can judge yet we are have faults and weakness to fix up.

 We are all trying or struggling with something- be it a relationship, upbringing of children, health, expenses, caring for someone, a death ,an illness, connection or disconnection.Some people are struggling through the day to just get a simple meal and education for their children. Somewhere on the Others side of the world , someone is struggling with their body image and what to wear for a event this weekend. It depends on very different circumstances what we are struggling for. The matter that is most I important is that struggling is with in our purpose of life . 

While we stand on this earth, or may I say walking, running, rushing, falling, hurrying, driving, talking or standing still, we must always remember our purpose of why we are here- for a Muslim it is important as keeping the eye on the prize, the purpose will be the key when it matters the most- that meeting on that day between you an Allahswt.

 Keep asking yourself now what matters the most to you now and than ask is it inline with your purpose? The purpose to worship a most merciful Lord who sees, hears the most inner most thoughts of the mind and feeling of the hearts. Keep turning to him in a world that's I'll try very hard to shut him out form your heart. Keep turning to Allahswt in a world that says fulfill your base desires, take the easy road, and put yourself first. Keep trying to maintain a beautiful connection with him, so you know that he will be pleases with all that you try to do. And most of all keep checking our intention of our actions and words- did it meet our purpose of life? Was it necessary and did it matter?

I hope that we can use our precious time while on this journey of life to be a better Muslim in character and deed. I hope we can bring better children into this earth that are compassion, caring, kind and helpful to others. I hope we can learn to see people's good and overlook their faults and weaknesses as much as we want ours to be overlook. And I hope most of all that you never a day goes by that you don't do something to keep your heart connected to the one that lets it beats over and over again, our most merciful, forgiving, overlooking, great Lord Allahswt

Essential oils for children

Positive discipline

Violence doesn't teach respect, discipline is taught when respect is shown, discipline is knowing how to create a balance for needs and wants. Discipline is calm, understanding and listens to both sides. Discipline looks after the heart and body. Discipline is not establish in an environment of hurt and hostility, which create resentment, resistance, rebellion (or compliance with lowered self-esteem). Closeness and trust create a safe learning environment. You have a positive influence only in an atmosphere of closeness and trust where there is no fear of blame, shame or pain. Positive discipline is needed everyday for a little heart to understand right and wrong. It establish the scene of direction and teaches responsibility and respect.Discipline teaches suitable,child age appropriate life skills, is kind and firm at the same time. It brings up children with morals and the ability to follow rules and think for themselves. How we handle our emotions and words, will have the most impact on how we bring up our children-to teach respect we need to be respectful of little arms, little feet, and little hearts #againstchildabuse

Jane Nelsen gives the following criteria for “effective discipline that teaches”:

FIVE CRITERIA FOR POSITIVE DISCIPLINE 

1. Helps children feel a sense of connection. (Belonging and significance)
2. Is mutually respectful and encouraging. (Kind and firm at the same time.)
3. Is effective long - term. (Considers what the child is thinking, feeling, learning, and deciding about himself and his world – and what to do in the future to survive or to thrive.)
4. Teaches important social and life skills . (Respect, concern for others, problem solving, and cooperation as well as the skills to contribute to the home, school or larger community.)
5. Invites children to discover how capable they are. (Encourages the constructive use of personal power and autonomy.)

- See more at: http://www.positivediscipline.com/what-is-positive-discipline.html#sthash.ZsZQIlLi.dpuf