Change-Allahswt in the heart

Change, people change, we all change- be it from life experiences, age, travels, meeting new people, greater cultural awareness, and a very important one-self awareness. Awareness of our strengths and weakness, our beliefs and perceptions of the world. I have moved back home. Home is living in Perth, Australia. Home is seeing the beautiful, stunning blue, blue shy, cool breezes, gum trees, Australian bush, sitting outside in the sun with a cuppa tea. Friends, sitting and laughing while having an aussie breakfast with friends that make one laugh and feel uplifted. Grazing and watching the river, green grass and white faces around us. Home is having old friends give hugs like they never want to let go. You really can tell who missed you and who didn't when they first lay eyes on you, and the ones that did, come running with a big smile on their face and give a hard, enduring hug like they holding on to life itself. The kind of hug that keeps with you for the rest of the day.

People come and people go, and what I have learnt about people is generally if they don't need you in their life, your be dropped out or unnoticed. But, and this is a big but, the people that have a bond, which was created before leaving and coming back, its like yesterday you were with them. Its like they embrace your presence and feel happy to have you back. They want to help and be part of your life. Sitting having hot chocolate one evening with a dear old friend and chatting for hours about life, relationship, kids and us, these conversation are so fulfilling. No mention of anyone else except us, our relationships with ourselves, with our family and with our Lord. Deep, fulfilling communication where respect, trust and care are the hallmarks, the given.

Open to the new opportunities, the new possibilities that come and being careful. Careful of who to trust and who not too, who to pour my heart out of all its worries and love and belief. Yet always knowing that the best communication, the most fulfilling and most content conversation is with my Lord. Because at the end of the day, most people come and go, while a few hold on, a few keep being thrown into each others arms,in a unforgiving world. Some wont even let you slip up, or make a mistake, or see goodness in you. Others see the world with beautiful hearts that look for the beauty, see the fragile, sensitive, goodness.  See the journey as a shared steps, together complementing each other, so aware of the flaws, yet so focused on the shared experience, finding the positive and good. Learning from each other, learning to love ourselves, learning to love Allahswt, learning that the journey is the living, not the destination.

When I moved to Malaysia for fourteen months, I was tested in many ways and pushed out of my comfort zone. I had many new experiences, some very heart breaking and  pushed me in a different direction of thinking and feeling. Yet after moving back, I miss things about Malaysia and the people. I miss that they were friendly and were ready to embrace you with a smile. I miss their love of family and visiting, their continue effort to have connection in their lives. I miss walks along the sea and  endless travels to new and exciting places. I miss feeling it was normal to be around Muslims. I miss the different head scarfs and modesty. I miss the  most the aznan, the call to pray at fajr, and the Quran reading echoing in the night.

Yet Perth was always the final destination of the journey.Being with friends that I take as my own sisters, giving the heart yet being careful, is part of the learning. Because at the  the end of the day, it was always about  our relationship between us and Allahswt. so that at all circumstances, we always expect a positive expectation of the journey he sharps for us. One lesson I have learnt is that everything, every single thing, good and bad happens for a reason. Another lesson I have learnt is that words hurt, and many a time, cant be ever taken back. Third lesson we were born to fulfill a very important, crucial goal- to please our wise Lord and do our best to be good, in heart and action, so we can enter those gardens of paradise. So many things will distracted us from that goal-weather it is the dunya, material things, education, jobs, good quality items, shopping, food, socializing, family, all these things are  attachments. These attachments have the ability to take us far from our purpose, our fulfillment. So we have them by our sides but not in our heart. Allahswt is in our heart, for if we have Allahswt in our heart we have the most important ingredient of life. An ingredient that the riches or most famous non believer and many a muslim is still looking for-contentment.

Pure contentment in the heart from the remembrance of Allahswt, great is he, the all peaceful and all hearing.

Go with the heart- it tells you the truth. Islam my courage, Islam my guidance,Islam my companion,  Islam my strength, Islam my healing agent in this journey, Islam my life. Help each other towards that inner contentment.  Move away from the toxic, the jealousy, the judgments, the gossip, the slander, and be content with Allahswt company, and just a few genuine ones that keep telling your heart that they love you for his sake.

 Keep remembering his name, keep turning to him alone, keep pouring out your heart to his mercy and assistance; keep knowing him. Think good of all, those that hurt you, ignore you, criticize  you, find their goodness and see their good. We are all fragile, weak humans with many a flaws that Allahswt hides from the naked eye. We ALL sin, in different ways. See people goodness, see their ability, believe that anyone has the capacity to be a force to change the world by first looking within themselves. The most beautiful people are the ones that struggle through life trying their best to be their best.

So I am home. Iam still far form the most beloved people in my life, my Mother and eight siblings and my nieces and nephews, yet justice will be served, in I hope a place we are all going to jannah, paradise, where no ear will hear any hurtful words, no eye has to see judgmental looks and no heart has to feel any kind of pain-just pure bliss, happiness. Keep going on this journey, with Allahswt in our heart, its going to be alright inshallah.

Dear Mum

Some of the points in this blog post really hit home to me, as they say, mothers never lie. I realize  I have never been fat ever in my life (except after birth weight) yet I have always been conditioned to believe to fear being fat, and that the thinner I was, would make me more beautiful. I love my body with all its flaws, bloated tummy at times, and will a concert effort to not condemn my body, especially as I get older, and to value my inner beauty over my outer. Its funny from a young child I would tell my mother that she was beautiful, because in my eyes she is beautiful, and I never got a positive response from this remark.I remember this incredibly beautiful picture of her at the age of 18, which she tore up for some unknown reason (probably will never know why).  An innocence child eyes are than open from a young age that being beautiful is almost unattainable if your not super thin. So I ask all, that whatever your weight, please lets stop this fear of fat equals ones worth. Words have a huge impact on ones life and especially to a young child.

https://medium.com/human-parts/bf5111e68cc1
Please have a read

My Ten boosters to balance Self-Esteem

1.Self Awareness. Appreciate yourself.Know that you have unique strengths, talents and qualities, and the ability to make changes, learn, grow and just be. Affirm who you are, know yourself, the limitations, boundaries and strong areas that makes up you.Being self aware helps us to think before we react

2.Positive MindsetThe way we think has a huge impact on how we see the world.With a determined mind, hard work and practice, the obstacles of life can be conquered. For example saying to yourself "Oh your so dumb! ; That's such a stupid idea or No, its not going to work out" is saying to yourself that you are not good enough to get the job done. Be positive towards yourself, and tell yourself that you can.

3. Good communication skillsBody language makes up 80% of communication. First impressions have a huge effect on how others see you. Are you open, warm and friendly? or is your body telling other signs of how you feel. In a state of emotional up rest or when your stressed, hurt or upset, this is the time to see things from other perspective.
Aggro's communicators tend to verbally attack people as well as issues they dislike. They are saying, "Iam more important than you!'. Use I message when communicating, as they look after others feelings. Try to understand what it is the other person is saying-really listen with body and soul


4.Don't compare yourself to othersThis leads to jealously, as there is always areas others a better at. Look for areas within yourself that you are successful at. With wealth, know that there are so many people that are worst off than you. With beauty, everyone gets their fair share of test, so don't turn against someone more beautiful than you. With popularity, it comes and goes, and some people shin because they put the effort in their area of strength. You too need to see the positives. Don't overstress the negatives.Be happy for others, we are one humanity that welcomes each others accomplishments

6.Make goals and accomplish themThis is a big booster to self esteem. Nothing like completing the task. Be careful of having a sense of failure. With effort and support, goals can be reached one step at a time.See my blog on goals

7. Make a contributionDo your actions and intentions for a higher purpose. Don't be selfish. When we think of others or help others, God looks on us with compassion. You also feel good. Think, what impact in my own way, can I have on the world in a good manner? Look at your potential and you will see that you can give so much more, even if it be to those you love. Participation is the key

8.Have goods social support and supportive individuals like role models
Social networks that are healthy, are very important for good self esteem and mental health. Friends that are positive, caring and show respect and love are protective factors to health. External messages from family, parents, peers, school, work place, media, Internet and general society can effect our internal view. Your beliefs and attitude is a reflection of this internal view. Reflections that you make about who you are effect self esteem.

9. Be ActiveCant emphasis this enough.There is so many positive benefits of having a active lifestyle. A University report found that an increase positive self-esteem through a more positive body image. Other benefits include improve health, reductions in back and period pain; reduce tiredness and stress.

10.Reading, and for a Muslim, reading the Quran, is a positive guidance's and inspiring lessons to be learnt.Book's lessons and words can relate to ones life. Take time out to read about great people of the past, or the many self development and spiritual development books that give tools and tips to contribute to your unique life

So there it is. Armed with the shield of self-esteem and the sword of faith, I hope that you will be able to walk into any battle!

Mental health- the way we think affects our actions

When I achieve a goal, I feel very excited, happy and proud of myself for achieving and accomplishing my goals. I felt hopeful for the future, and I was thinking how capable I can be when I put my mind to something important to me. “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve!- W. Clement Stone

Mental health is a state of being. A perception of the world around us. It can be positive or negative, and have the facility to conquer a person’s connection to the outside world, or it can be strong, driven and proactive. A person’s mental health is in a good position when thoughts are balanced. Meaning a person mind set is depended on our perception and interpretation of our environment, our inner beliefs, values and attitudes; our expectations and feelings.
How we think determines how we feel. If I think I am going to fail university, I will feel distress, or stressed. If I think I can do this, I know I have the capability, and I manage my time wisely, I may feel hopeful, engaged, excited that I can do it! Thanking effects a balanced and positive mind frame, an important part of good mental health. Another important aspect of mental health is knowing yourself and being self-aware. In life, it is important to consciously develop a clearer awareness of self by assessing the way we think.