Advising others

Mashallah haven had time to look at blogs or write in my blog for a while now. Kids have been such a handful alhumidallah. I have been reading alot and just finish this great little book called "The road to good friendship" by Abdul Malki Al-Qasim, a darusslam publications. I like Darussalum publications as they usually publish goo sounding literature. Some of what I like I will quote here, as reference for myself ( I borrowed the book )and as a reminder for all.


In reference to advising another:

The shahabes use to smile alot and were "merciful amongs themselves" (The glorious word of God, Quran (48:29)

Advice softly,so one refrains from the sin, encouraging them to return to correctness.

Soft admonishment using kind words and reminding one of allahswt, are basis of good advice.

Hate the sin,but do not hate the person, make thanks to Allahswt that you don't do it.

Make dua, invoking our Merciful Lord, that he/she returns to the rigth way inshallah ameen ( Iam thinking of some close to my heart here )

Have good mannerism. Mashallah this book has alot of good advice about good conduct and manners, and how it requires forbearance, humbleness and graciousness, especially when one confronts or is confronted in public.

A believer always advises in confidence.

Take the middle road.

Respect others without aggression or excessiveness. Excessiveness is always criticized and rejected.


Many of the shahabes had a beaming face-smile.This is one I think is beautiful and important, as you can really make one's d with a smile or hug.

And a ahadith from another book

“Be mindful of God wherever you are, and follow up any misdeed you might do with a good deed that will wipe it out (being weightier in the scale). And deal with people on the basis of good character.” Imam Abu ‘Isa Muhammad bin ‘Isa at-Tirmidhi, Jami’ at-Tirmidhi

Mashallah islam puts empathises on good character, good mannerism; good heart and good conducted to all. Inshallah may our character be one that is pleasing to Allahswt

Childrens Quran

What a beautiful day today in Perth mashallah. My son hurt his foot jumping on the trampoline, so we have been doing activities on the net (mainly quran). Every day I get my boys to spend a small amount of time (depending on age)listening to Quran. I like them to listen to Quran so they follow the way the qari is reciting, following the tajwid.

My favourite site for my 5 year old is www.harfkids.com

MY favourite site for my 10 year old is www.listen2quran.com

My site I like to listen to is www.quranexplorer.net/Quran

I also like iqrafoundation.com for its prophets stories for kids.

I like my 10 year old to know what he is reading, so i try to go over the english trans-literation with him. I find he sometimes gets more interested in his Surat, from understanding the meaning.

Iam going to beginner Arabic classes once a week, which makes me soo much more aware of the meaning of words in my surats. My fathers Lebanese, yet I only know a hand full of words. A victim of focusing on my dominate language (English) as a child, and thus losing what Arabic I new by the age of 10 years. One of my step-sons can speak Malaysian and English well, and the other ones lost his malay as he grew up and can only speak English. I suppose its very important to always speck their native language to their child from young, regardless of the dominate culture language, if not, they could lose or reject it their native parents language.

Family and outings

I have been taking time to really enjoy my family laterly. I try to take my boys every second day somewhere (when my oldest is not at school), so they can enjoy what God has given them them. When we are enjoying some aspect of life, I remind them to be grateful to the Creator for giving them the means to have the experience they are having. So if I take them to the park, or a swimming lesson or having ice cream, I remind us all as a family how bless we are to have these activities or food. I hope to instill into my family how to enjoy the small things in life, to be grateful and content that we have the ability to run free under a beautiful blue sky. Living in Perth, we have some of the best weather. Beautiful blue skies, without a cloud in sigth and a cool breezes makes the spring.

My children play in the big, back garden, running around annoying each others lol. Once in a while i hear a scream and have to check everything is a ok. Alhumidallah (Thank God!)it always is with boys but I have to monitor because of their age gaps and so different physical levels. I use to really be against play figthing when my boys were younger, but I learnt in child development is it a normal way for boys and young man to experience a safe (lol) method of letting out energy and strength.Like experimental how far can I go before I hurt the other. So I monitor even through I dislike it (why cant boys just sit and read a book for a hour ;)).

So Iam going outside now to enjoy a cuppa (cup of tea ;)) with my hubby in our great outdoors. Yes Australia is a country with great out doors. You would not believe how much the land scape can change. About eigth years ago , my husband and some of my inlaws and myself did a cross country road trip from Perth to Brisbane. Thats about 5000 kms to cover going through W.A (Western Australia) Nullabour desert( freezing cold at nigth), than througth South Australia with desert and green hills (it was winter), than to Broken Hill (New south wales)bush and and wild flowers and dry beds( my mum lived here as a child- a good old aussie town where everyone looks at you funny cause I had a scarf on and they only see muslim woman once in a life time lol)than up to beautiful rainforst and house on stills in Queensland until we arrived in humid Brisbance. The land scape changed so many times and yet its all in one huge country.

That trip taugth me alot, especially how beautiful and different our Creator made this earth and how travelling is a eye opener to the soul and teachs you how insignicant we are in the huge, plan of things. I means there is this huge earth to be explored and be remindered of how great God is, in the red, black, white, brown, grey of dirt that one sees as they travel. May be we more grateful and not forget the bigger plan of what this life holds.

My aspirations

For a while now I have put my major goal of studying and completing my degree on the back-burner so I can focus on my aspiration to enjoy motherhood more and to take it one day at a time, due to health reasons. Iam really enjoying the slower pace of life (will there is many things to do everyday, but Iam less stress and more content inside), so I take things as bearable and more inspired to live in the moment. Living in the moment is a wonderful experience, as you truely take things in that I use to kind of brush them by, or go thru one ear and come out of the other. Like for example, I LISTEN to my children, now most busy mums do HEAR their child's conversation, but they dont listen and take in the full extent of what the child is saying both on a emotional and physical level.The depth of what you hear and what you take in that is not mention, is deeper and the relationship more enriched, be it a understanding smile or a sincern nod.

I have always aspired to bring up my children pleasing Allahswt and being aware of his companunship to them in their life. My mother holds a unwritten slogan to trust in Allshwt, put your full belief, worry and conviction to him and he swt, as the protector, sustainer, all-hearing and knowing, well be by your side.

My goals now are more to educate my children more at home, taking more time to enjoy and expore the learning journey. My sister inlaw said a really wise thing to me yesterday, which is tt to focus on the here and now and that we want to give our children a love of learning, so they will be life-long learners. Imagine what a gift a mother can give to her child as her ressurances and a source of information. One of the best things I remerber as I grew up ,was that my mother tried to answer all my questions. I sure asked alot of questions and the fact I felt comfortable to listen (not always follow lol ;) her advice shows her eargerness to aspire myself to learn more.

One of the things my mother said to me as a teenager that rings in my ear till today, was the beauty that Islam allows you to question, ask questions so one can learn and seek understanding. How ever we school our children, if we can give the gift of a open ear, understanding and be a source of love and inspiration for their learning, than how very great and noble our roles of motherhood is.

Islam isnt what you think it is

Is it not a great thing to have faith? People are always talking about stupid things that are done in the name of Islam that are not even from Islam! I mean just recenlty I read the heading of a newspaper articule which said "Somaila lady lash for having a bra"...now thats really dumb because all the muslim woman I know wear bras and nothing has happen to them. A good sports bra is very much needed in exercise, and being a muslim woman doesnt make us some weird person that cant wear a bra...i mean how dumb can some people be?

Iam annoyed of people thinking weird of Muslim Woman and Islam. If they open their heart they would see the truth instead of making up lies out of total ignorance and believing anything the media and dumb-bos know it all say! For Gods sake doesnt anyone question or do they just accept yep it must be so?

There is a common sense explanation for many aspect of Islam that others want to wang a finger too, include the face-cover ( ohhh mmy God they covered their percious face!!!). They dont understand how inspirating, uplifting and confident these woman are who CHOOSE to cover. This list could go on from more then one wife to using a tooth stick from a special tree miswak fro brushing the teeth. How old-age one may say, but if you new the spiritual and health benefits, it would put modern western medicine to shame.

So next time you see a Muslim Woman or a practicing muslims for that matter, instead of feeling sorry for their pitiful soul or being anger for their existence on this earth, open your heart, over look all the lies you hear and read, and start to ask the question what is really Islam? You WIILL be surprise by the truth. Most people wont as they are too scared to embracing any thinking outside the box they think in, or live in ;)

Saying can change the way u think

I like these two saying and when I find good sayings, Iam going to post them up to remind myself.

Ibn Ata'illah said " Do not keep company with anyone who state does not inspire you and whose speech does not lead you Allahswt"

Ali RA said "Resignation to the will of God is the cure of the disease of the heart."

Its all about true faith. If my friends and people i take company with inspire me to do and be great things than I will feel more ready to succeed. Anyone who has suffered depression, even for a day, understands how uninspired one FEELS and how the mind really narrows in thinking. When we resign and accept things in life that we neither have any control over nor can change, than in that way we give ourselves some kind of peace and closure, or the very least acceptance to deal with it in the best way we can.

I know that islam and having faith has been my true companion in my darkes hour...My heart really goes out to a person without faith. How lost and unvalued one would feel to be without a higher companion to turn to in pray. To have that protection and assurances that comes with knowing I can turn to my creator, sustainer and provider and he will answer me some how, some time. We just have to open our heart to see the signs of God gifts everywhere. Truly a person without faith is lost in their own world, unsure if what they are doing is truly rigth and a lack of fulfullment of what am I here for. What a gift is faith, iman belief in a God who will do justice on a Day of Judgement. Very old teaching for all times, a mordern world needs justice.

Life

Life just keeps on going. Its funny how a person can be in a certain state of mind and others know how they are feeling or are kind of aware of their situation ,but continue to go on in life either ignoring or unsure how to help that person. Once the true understanding comes in to life, its not one that you want to embrace with flying colours. One thing I dislike about life is my boys figthing. Now they have very different personally and my oldest, he has a testing character. They tease and annoy each other and it just wears me down. I dont hit and i try not to shout. I feel its better to stay calm. But I feel sometimes its sooo hard dealing with kids. You want to show a good example to them, mould them in the rigth way and let them explore all that this life has to hold, but in doing that you want them to have good manners, be grateful and kind and appreciate the small things instead of quickly growing up.

I study child development and social sciences...how community works, the need for connection by all, the importances of a well-balance, stress-free upbringing...soo many factors to count in. Especially living in Aus, I know we are very blessed in how we live. A person wouldnt think much about turning a warm shower on every morning and having clean ,flowing drinking water. I have grown up with this from day one, so to have appreciation is hard when I have not know any better.

But how do I and my children learn to apperciate these daily things. I think one needs to be expose to different ways of life, even different families and people. Its when people take themselve outside the box can they truely think outside it. We have to want to expose and expore what is out there. And more importantly take time to reflect on the now, the experience we are going thru now, wheather that is eating a ice cream,being a parent, going to a theme park or being sick. What can I learn from this? what is the underlaying lesson or what am I going to take from this? If we question ourselves more, analysie and push ourselves outside that box, their would be less fear of the unknow, less worry of inexperencing and less holding back.

my Lord

I had an operation in late July. It was suppose to be a normal op, with recover after a few days. After two weeks, I still unwell. Its been hard and I have had a lot of patience. I contracted an infection, which made me really sick. Its only when your soo sick, hallucating from the fever, that one realises that The Guardian Lord is your true companion. Like I know my creator is always there, but its when I felt soo sick, soo in need that I cant stand on my two feet without assistance thats one understand how in need we really are. We have this body but it can be cut down at any time, even if we look after our health, this health is in the hands of God's will.

We are not going to be young for ever. This life is temporary so we have to get the most out of it.....in a way that will help us to grow in faith, love, hope and connection. What helped me in this sickness was thinking and praying to my Lord. Saying words of pray and zikr, helped my heart have hope and a inner peace of connection to a far greater Provider, Curer and Helper. We get soo busy with this life that we forget and over look the really important things. Things that money cant buy, like connection, a loving partner or child taking care of us in our greatest need, praying to God ; looking up at the sky and feeling the soft wind, just being.

God did not create in vain.

He created us for a reason.....have you found yours?

Deen

Just wanted to share one of my favorite quotes,

"In accordance with how good your expectations of and hope in allahswt are and how truthful your reliance and trust are in him, Allahswt will not betray your hopes in the least, as Heswt does not betray your hopes of those who hope and does not cause any effort to go to waste" Said by Abu-Muhammad al-Maqdisi in Salt prison in Jordan. From "Reflections Expecting the best from Allahswt". Great read mashallah.

Power of acknowledgement

I have been thinking why do we have such a need to have people acknowledge our existence? I know people that need others to constantly give attention to, and others that are very famously happy to be by themselves, in their own world. I think we all go thru stages when we can be bits of both, but the personality of a person I believe is kind of "set" in a certain matter, changing ever soo slowly as the years go by. You can see when a person wants to change their inner character when one sees modification in the way they speck, act and interact with others, when experiences, inner thinking, meeting goals and people all help that modification to a better or thats face it, worst human bean.

I have seen primary school children do this, write out a list of the "good' people and "bad" people in their lives.Since I was a child, I have done that over the years...write out a list of friends and cross out the ones I no longer click with, broken my trust or devalue who i am in some way. Of course excuse are made and modificates to find something "good' in that friendship to allow it the float the sea of time. Its funny to see that who is left, in many ways, are the ones that, like you, have weakness and faulths and some great qualities, but are trying....making effort to be a better person, or a person very much intune to themselves. What i mean, these friends, eventhou very different in character, care about others. They show you, as a friend that I do care about you in some way. One may not talk to them or see them offen...but you know in your heart this person values you

So that takes me to my original question of why is it people need to be acknowledge of there existence. I believe the answer is everyone to some degree needs to be valued, if not they will not exist for long. It goes back to Erickson and others belief that if a child is given physical need, such as food, shelter, etc but no attention, no love, no touch, they well not thrive. This has been proven many times. So we must not understimate the power of a smile, the power of a hug, the power of a touch and the power of listening. Try it, listening and aknowledging a person is not a ease as it seems, but when done in a matter of care and warm, it can be one the most powerful and life changing experience for some. With that the Prophet Muhammed SAW always had a smile on his face, and I hope that you and I can find something to smile about everyday of our lives ameen ;)

Killed for wearing a scarf

It makes me anger and sad at the sa

me time that this muslim woman had to be killed because of his hatred of Islam. It raises sooo many questions that no-one wants to answer. Because if they answer them, the very real realisation of how much hate there is in the world for muslims and islam...we all felt it after 9/11. I remerber that morning walking into Tafe and the whole class going silence and this real uncomfortable atmosphere occured. It quickly wiped the smile off my face and made me relise instanely that because I was a muslim woman, i had some relations to what had happen. I cryed in stock and saddness as I watched the tv bleming images of people jumping of the building.....those images never leave u...neither did the feelings of being part to blame, like I secratly agreed to mass killing of innocean people!!!!Agggggh

It makes me soooo mad that this woman was matryed, yes murdered in a court room full of people. How can a person murder a woman, stab her 18 times, and than stab her husband three times, who was the only one to come to her aid, and than he got shot, as mistaken identity. It sounds soo bizarra. Anyone in a court room would know that there is security guards very close by. The fact that the husband got shot, just shows the mentally that it was an "Arab" that must be hurting the woman, not a Germany citizens.

But of course if you answer the questions, it all comes back to hatred of islam and muslims in general. The ignorance of Islam and phobies to muslim womans haed scarf and face covering is soooooo disgusting and is such an injustice to such a minority of woman. For Gods sake they only wear for the pleasure of God and to be modesty, so they wont be molested. One where is the respect now adays???

The worst fact of all is that western media haven even covered the story. The have forgotten and ignoriong what an out cry this is. If a Jew had been stab, man the out cry would have been global. I have not hear any news story in Australia with regard to this murder. The message behind it is muslim woman are fair game. If you have a problem with wertern pertial of islam, a woman in a head scarf is now a target.

I have been locking my car doors for a few years now, after knowing muslims sisters that have had their scarf/niqab (face cover) torn off in broad day ligth. The mocking and belittling wears one down and even thou it hasent been bad in the last two years, I am more aware, more careful and more strengthen to cover up, to stand up for what I believe in!!

So do this sister, and your family, may God give you the heighest paradise and may all Muslim woman be free to live a life free of persecution, mockery and belittlement...ameen

Deen and beauty.

I loved this quote on "chasing jannah" blog...."Not interested in living that fake lifestyle, where looks and money get you with the "cool" crowd but once it's all gone, you're back to being a nobody. True beauty isn't about how many model contracts you get, it's how you live your life and treat others. When I see a Sister, I can see the noor in her face that reflects taqwa and good manners. Even the most beautiful face can be tainted with evil intentions to hurt others.To me, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and on the face of a Mutaqiya (pious woman)."

I totally agree. You can honestly see the nur of good in a sisters face and those that are tainted by there bad deeds or intentions, especially when you haven seen a sister in a long time. If the heart is clean, good, pure and likes good ,pure things, than the face and body is also a reflection of the central part of who we are. Reading quran, making dua for others,helping another out even through we have burdans, doing good deens all help to guide us to the rigth way. "Verily in the remerbrance of Godswt, do hearts find rest". And this rigth way maintains inner and outer beauty ;)

Life

Ohhh life. Its hard being a mother, wife, friend,daugther, step-mother ,sister and overall meeting all the needs and demands that is required of me. I feel at times that it seems all too much, especially with little outside support. But, what helps me is "talking' to Allahswt. I make little prays througthout my day asking for his swt help, direction, strength to go on; patience to get thru. I pick myself up and continue. I always refer to this life, especially a practing muslimah life, as a journery. Trying to keep safe (within Gods' protection); doing goods things, day by day, passing till death do us apart. I believe in an afterlife, the real life, one promised of happiness, rest and true ease. This life shows you that there must be a heavan and hell, because humans do injustice and suffering to each other. Some mock, belittle, dis-regard, hurt others without the any worry of how there actions affect others. I know even a hug, a smile , a helpful hand, or a kind word can really make ones day. I look for those one or two pick me up during my day so that I can see the light and greatness in single, beautiful acts that a human is capable of doing. We just sometimes forget the power of kindness to another, how uplifting it is to ones own soul ;)My family, can be overwealming at times but , they bring me joy, happiness, production, ease, worry, friendship, laugths and that is life itself, a journey of experiences...

The characteristics of the seeker of happiness

The Characteristics of the Seeker of Happiness“…The seeker of Allah and the Hereafter – rather, the one who seeks to obtain all knowledge, productiveness, and leadership, such that he is a leader who is taken as an example in all of this – should be brave, bold, in control of his whims, and not under the control of his imagination. He should be abstinent from everything except that which he is after, passionate about what he has turned his face towards, knowing the path to it, as well as the paths which lead away from it.He should be bold in his aspiration, firm in his resolve, and not swayed from his goal by the blame of the blamers or the discouragement of the discouragers.He should generally be tranquil, constantly in thought, and not be moved by the sweetness of a compliment or the pain of criticism.He should be forthcoming in providing himself with what he needs to help him obtain his goal, and should not be incited by those who oppose him.His slogan should be patience, and his rest should be his fatigue, and he should love to have the best manners.He should make the best of his time, not mixing with the people except in a most cautious state, just like a bird that quickly comes down to snatch a morsel from between two people.He should stand over himself, encouraging himself by way of hope and fear, and should seek to be outstanding amongst his group…” My mother pass me this advice and I loved it, hope you enjoy. author Ibn al Qayyim

In my life I spend time contemplate the nature of this temporary, short yet percious life of ours and the ones connected to me. Allahswt, the creator and sustainer, put us on this earth to contemplate and understand what our existance on this earth is, to submit our will, desires and goals to please him alone. Life is a test, and the ones with the most strength of character, patience and determination to fulfill what is required of them, will be the succesful. I find that Islam is perfect in the way that it gives an solution to every problem. Iam really laterly trying to pruify my heart and character, and this journery of life gives examples every day of how to be a better person in every way. A heart needs to return to its creator in a purified, clean form to enter the everlasting garden of paradise. Its a challenge, that as one who wants to submit my will to my Rabbswt needs to work at, and hopefully slowly and surely, I can succeed.
I leave you with my favourite quote, "Verily in the remerbance of God do hearts find rest"